Is this right? Am I walking towards the right direction? Am I biting off more than I can chew? I don't even know anymore. Lost control way too fast, way too soon. Life was supposed to be simple, but it never is. I guess I really overestimated myself.

Its like a rose, with many promises of good things. Beauty? I don't think so, but just something we can't do without, or we thought we can't do without. The second we grab it, we feel the thorns, penetrating the skin, piercing the flesh. We feel the blood, some trickling a long stream of red, others joining to form a river. Had we knew this was going to happen, would we have grabbed the rose a first chance? I don't know. All I know is that, the thorns are still there, I am still holding the rose, and the senses are starting to dull the effects. Maybe one day the fingers will numb enough to ignore the pain, but I know for sure, the second I picked up the rose, that I would never put it down again.

The past few days has been an eye opener. Rather than a "interesting look to a new world" kind of thing, it was actually a forced "open your eyes now, ignorant" experience. For the past many years, I was contend with not knowing about the world. Current affairs, government policies, changes in the real world. I didn't need to know them. And so I did not know them. However, with the recent events where suddenly everything is relevant, everything needs to be known. I can't help but feel that the sudden cultural change is overbearing. I can't seem to adapt to these new circumstances when in the past I could cruise such things easily. Have I become weaker? Or has the competition thinned to such an extent that every other person is at least as good as me? How then, am I supposed to survive?

"Misery is optional". Oh how I love that quote.

How do you stop the blowing wind? You can shield yourself from it with a windbreaker, an umbrella. You can build a shelter to protect your friends and families from it, but how? How can you stop the blowing wind?

I don't know what to think. Thought evades my mind. Have I lost the ability to think carefully? Maybe I really need to go back to school, just so I can remember how to think. Depressing.

So I'm trying this out to see if it solves my paragraphing problem. Hope it does! Today is one of those days that you feel nothing exactly special had exactly happened, but you know, just having fun with old friends and playing the good old sports really revitalizes the poor sad soul and makes you unable to hide that damn smile when you sleep. The best thing about talking to the friends I've known for the longest time is the fact that they literally just live next door =)