Sorry for not posting many things up. Its not that I don't want to. But everyday is like the very same routine repeated. Dejavu day after day.

So basically, here's the breakdown of the week. From monday till friday.

6.15am: WAKE UP. Groggily. Die just die. Cursing at every possible thing
7.00am: reach bus stop. Yawnsssssssssssss
7.11am: bus comes!
7.30am: reach the bus stop outside school.

Okay total lameshit. I'm opening opportunities for people to stalk me. Yeah that's my schedule. Lol.

Then hectic day at school

Reach home at 6+, 7, eat watch "You are my destiny"

Stupid attempts at completing math homework.

Game at 10.

Sleep at 12.

EVERYDAY.

I'm such a boring person. Someone excite me please.

Haven't really written anything in quite some time. Then again, if all I write are sad things, why write at all? Spreading around sadness isn't really a good thing. Must learn how to think positive!

2 weeks to the impending doom. Oh dear, no preparations for it whatsoever. I'm still living in my own world, shielded by the comforts of home. How awkward it is to think that I've once been out there working before.

I really feel like a spoiled child now )_(.

I really really don't know what to feel and think anymore. This sucks. Its like slapping yourself left and right, then left and right again.

Reeling from the pain, not totally understanding why, and getting slapped again.

Ouch.

And and, I need to practice my analogies. Apparently they're good for essay writing. Nice.

Maybe I should start reading FML, or MLIA or just follow people on twitter. Yes I have a twitter account, but no I do not use it. So don't bother giving me request whatsoever. I believe I didn't follow anyone on twitter yet, so it should be a blank when I finally do log in.

Anyways, life these days aren't that good after all. Day by day, we're stepping towards the major exams. No one has to remind us to study. We know it. We just don't bother following it. Instinct says play is better. And so it shall be.

Sense vs instinct is like david vs goliath.

Who cares if david wins in the end.

Millions of things to work on, millions of situation to get out off. I'm living each day wishing the day would end soon. That is not a good thing. Never a good thing. Its called dwindling your life away. Perhaps, only if someone suddenly told me I'm gonna die in a few months then I would start to treasure life more.

And I would feel justified not studying. HAHA. Nice one.

Stay 3 months off your computer.

Would you?

Really, must things come down to that. Will that definitely gurantee an A? I have no idea. As much as I want to trust everybody, especially the professionals, I know there are some things I have to judge for myself. Just because some people can't do as well because they're on the computer 24/7 doesn't mean it'll apply to me.

Right?

Or rather, I'm just trying to find an excuse to justify myself to continue using the computer )_(

Its been quite some time since a happy post. And I'm sad about that too. It kind of reflects how I've been doing ain't it? Lots of happy post means much love and happiness felt. So definitely, I'm pretty sad these few days.

I'm already trying my best. In almost everything. Other than studies of course. I never ever try my best for that. Who knew that when you had a good habit, it is just as hard to quit? Though really, its ambiguous to what can be considered a good or bad habit.

All I know however, is I am really facing much difficulty stopping myself from typing "tr" in the address bar and click the first option that comes out.

For those who still don't know who cyanide is, maybe typing that will have her blog's address pop up too.

No gurantees.

Just like how I'm feeling now. The amount of unknowns are far too much to contemplate. I only know one thing for sure:
I'm alive, I need to be, I will be.

Whatever decisions I make I should not regret it.

Should not.


The truth is, the only way not to regret any decisions made, is not to make any to begin with. How ironic? For that in itself, is making a decision.

爱是对的，错的是我（们），还没学会爱，就急着爱人，而爱错。

可是

我就不怕爱错，只怕没爱过。

Learn to stick with your decisions. Let them be firm, and not just obstinate or stubborn.

Therefore, learn how to make the right decisions, the first time. In this current society, that's what people are looking for, everywhere. The ability to be steadfast and be firm.

I gotta be firm. Think faster than the opponent, and shoot him before he can react. Learn.

I've never been so wrong about someone. You, are, the only exception, Whilst I thought I was playing god, I realisedI was only filled with ignorance. So they were right, we really have to build even simple things brick by boring brick. But you're not feeling sorry, I guess I'll just have to turn it off. After all, looking up, where I should be, is where the lines overlap.

All the more it is justified.

我想通了。不会再回头了。

I'll just do one last thing for you.

소원을 말해봐

Sometimes I really wonder what kind of person I am. Am I still someone I know? Did I lose myself to this cruel society? Or did I just gave up all my emotions so that I can be strong.

I feel heartless, yet loving. Hurt, yet happy.

Contradictory.

Might have to do with me losing my ITouch. Haiz. If I never had it, I would never wanted one. Now that I enjoyed its 4 years with me, I'm throughly sad with losing it. And there's no one to blame but myself. At least I'm rationale enough to think of that.

Honestly, I think my condition is worsening. That bipolar disorder. Its gonna morph into split personality really soon.

Bought myself a new bag ^^

Super over budget but well, who cares. Haha. I mean, if no one knows, who cares xD. Yeah so pretty happy. Maybe that's well girls love shopping. The feeling of spending money on yourself buying something useful is pretty satisfying!

Or maybe I should just be a girl o.0

Either way, I wanna watch the world cup finals later!!! Going sacrifice tomorrow's well-being in school. Probably sleep through most of the lessons. But its the last time!!! So teachers bear with me arh hehe =P.

戒不掉你对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃

To begin with, I'm really sleepy and want to go to sleep now. Unlike what most teenagers are, I do get tired around 12am. Yes. I'm a nerd.

But I guess saying all those make no sense for the reader since they probably won't be reading this right after I post it. Hmmz. Redundant. Haha.

Anyways, I said all those CRAP above(Yes I do know that they're crap) just to pre-inform anyone that is reading this that due to the fatigue I may have difficulty with the content and quality of the post. Not that it is very good to begin with, BUT, it will be of even lower standards. So I seek forgiveness.

Thank you.

So track and field meet is coming. I do agree that I am a sportsmen. Wherever basketball is concerned.

Only.

So seriously, throwing javelins, shotputs, discuses, running relays are not my thing. Really. But I can't bear to the people getting worried over the amount of people joining instead of the quality that joins. So I guess I'll just go 滥竽充数*. Look for english translation(my style) below.

Regardless, decided to go for high jump and javelin. Should I explain my rationale? Hmmz, I think I will. Its like, throwing javelin is really cool right? Yeah, I sound damn bimbo but really, that's the reason for choosing javelin! Haha =P. And high jump.

Clarification here. Vertical leap is NOT EQUAL to good high jump guy. Yes, during the compeition period, my vertical leap is pretty good. Grabbing the rim USED TO be no problem. But high jump's a whole category away ain't it? So whatever, since somehow someone convinced to.

And my failed my chemistry test. Like. Expected.

Still sad nevertheless. Oh wells, by half a mark only. Should I be glad that I didn't fail by a large amount or sad that I could've passed with one more mark. Really, its depends on our own point of view right?

The half-filled, half-empty thingy.

Is this an irony or paradox? Haha. GP skills kicking in.

Either way, its actually real bad to be failing tests now. ANY test should not be flunked. I guess I'm nowhere near where I'm supposed to be. At this time 2 years ago I was already studying for prelim 1 and getting real good at my syallbus already. Apparently now I'm still playing games. HAHA. Starcraft and Warcraft!

And even influenced my classmates to play with me. I'm such a bastard huh.

Live with it =).

滥竽充数 = Trying to meet the mininum with pure numbers(note: This is not entirely true, this is my explanation for it, read with concern in mind.)

I'm a goner for tomorrow's chemistry test. Whatever. I tried.

They say that's enough. Though most of the time they're hypocrites who meant, "you call that trying? Like that is try your best?". They are just trying to not add additional pressure onto us. Thank them.

Haiz. 3 topics for the test tomorrow. 30 marks. Doesn't take a genius to guess its 10 marks each? HAHA. Maybe I should consult the godly octopus or the parrot. Yeah, help me pick the correct questions~ Ahhhh.

Desperate.

Like always. Yearning more. Being greedy.

I'll be fine =)

刘

Doing my GP now!

I realised my vocabulary sucked, to the max. I mean, my grammar's pretty good. Thanks to blogging but my vocabulary is still really bad.

I've always believed that blogging in proper english(most of the time) do help one in language skills. Whether you blog in english, chinese, malay, tamil. Whatever, as long as you do use proper and complete sentences. Which obviously, I try to do!

The occasional "haha" is (I believe) acceptable, though please do take note not to write that is your essays. Haha. I think the teacher would be caught in the middle, not knowing whether to laugh or cry!

So from a c6 english idiot I am, my grammar improved drastically in that 1 or 2 years to a b3 english guy. I mean, everyone knows c6 english is a burden, so it is pretty much acceptable to call him/her an idiot, unless of course he/she is already at full potential.

As you probably can tell already, my writing don't really contain big and bombastic words. Since of course any words that are written are from my brain's vocabulary, which, isn't really that awesome.

So hmmmmmm, I think I need to figure out how to blog in a way such that whilst my grammar is kept "up to standards", I can improve my vocabulary! Any ideas please tell me via any avalible means. Your help is greatly appreciated =)

倩

My Itouch has more songs than my Itunes(on my com). Hmmz? Interesting. So despite its extremely old age, my Itouch is still working, pretty well I should say. We've been through hard times~ Sobs~ Sobs~

Okay random. Haha

尼

Its like taking drugs.

You get high, you have fun, you love it...

Until it gets taken away. Until the withdrawal symptoms kicks in. Then you start suffering. You wished this never happened. You wish you never took the drugs to begin with.

The genie presents to you another dosage of the drug.

And you're back to square one. In fact, you're in an even worse shape. Choking on your own breath. Nothing you can do but plea for more drugs. Desperate, hungry, hurt.

How nice?

Human nature? Or no self-control and discipline? I wonder which. Or perhaps its due to both. Perhaps that's why I'm not stopping myself. I'm falling for it again and again.

I once heard this story from a teacher. About the idea of "stupid". I remembered it was on some kind of seminar or camp. Can't exactly remember.

So this is how it goes:
A man walks along a road to work on fine day. Oblivious to him, there was a hole in the middle of the road because of road construction. So obviously, he fell inside, too busy to look at the road he was walking on.

The workers resuced him and carried on with their work.

The next day, he walked along the same road to work. For some reason or another, he wasn't paying attention to the road and fell into the very same hole that he descended into just the day before.

The workers quickly came and rescued him, but not without noticing that it was the very same person that fell into it the day before. So as steoreotyping people we all are, they started thinking he must be an idiot.

Do you agree? That he is a stupid idiot who fell into the very same hole twice?

On third day, he walked along that very same road as per usual.

Now think, or rather imagine, will he fall into that very same hole in that very same hole thrice? What do you think?

If he didn't, do we still hold the right to criticize him and say that he is an idiot?

There's one thing I really enjoy doing. Other than playing games and blogging that is. Haha.

And that is... Arranging my music! Its tedious 'Paperwork' but the sense of satisfactions is really great. Like when you see all of your songs in the correct artist, album, order. And if I'm free maybe someday I'll go find lyrics and place them all! Haha. Though those days are probably numbered )_(

So searching for music here and there became much more simpler with a new computer! Now hehe, all the past songs that I wasn't able to listen to due to various difficulties can be done! ^^

Its especially nice if I find a song that has these 2 people in the producing team.
周杰伦
方文山

Jay chou, needless for me to speak much of, since most of the chinese population in Singapore probably knows him, unless they are hardcore english music people of course.

The 2nd person probably has less fame but nevertheless I think he's a great guy. If you have the time and can read chinese, you should really look up the songs that he writes lyrics for. Really meaningful! Envious envious that I'm nowhere near as good in literature expression.

In both languages.

I shall go back for more music searching!