Got into college team. Annouced yesterday. Very happy for a while. Until I saw the faces that the guys who didn't make it were trying to hide. The line was drawed. And I didn't realise it. Its unavoidable now. Things are going to be awkward these few days. Haiz.

Everything's going perfectly according to plan, I trained and got into it but now I'm pretty sad about it. Even though it might sound hypocritical since I wouldn't give up the slot even if I could, but its doing us no good. Not the team, the people in the team. Just like last year. I fully appreciate my seniors' feelings now.

Stupified.

Things come and go. Strike the iron while its hot or miss the arrow that never returns to its bow. I saw this coming, not so fast and furious but expected it. Still it hurts like never-ending and no matter how I tried to hide it, it still leaves a scar like a tattoo I can't erase.

Live another 60 years on earth and my heart would probably cease to move. I need something, someone, some feelings. Cause I'm feeling empty like a stupid idiot. And things have yet to hit me hard yet.

Numb?