So cyanide isn't everything in life to me.

Despair can overule my happiness any time of the day. Sadness can't be described.

Yup we won the friendly, but I lost to myself. I lost to my old self. I never ever won the me in the past. That is I never improved. I can't surpass the old me. I can't get better, stronger, higher.

It hits me like a bullet train, straight in the face. And I barely able to stand it.

Plunge into further abyss with the added on A'level results. Sure ben did awesome, 6th in YJ and everything. Pushing me into a spot where it is inevitable that my parents would use that against me. All I have to do is wait for their nagging.

Yet I'm lagging in my studies. Ms Ng was shocked when she saw me standing like... AGAIN. Yea I haven't been doing my work, haven't been training up to standard. Haven't been the best, or anywhere near it.

Chinese results just suck k. C for chinese.

I need to get up there, such great heights.


Drinking cyanide that I couldn't to fill my empty heart. Yet all it does is harming my body parts.