得饶人之，且饶人

Forgiving is something we all need to learn. What we cannot forgive often turns into a grudge. And grudges are not easily solved or settled.

Bearing grudges, is it simply because someone offended you? More often, it is due to the hurt that we believe we cannot let go, absolutely cannot forgive. Because of its hurt on us, we want to hurt the other party just as badly, or in most cases, even more badly.

Grudges hence, are defined as a negative thing that we should not have. We should instead learn to forgive, learn to let go. For they do us no good, but throw us deeper into the wells of darkness. And more sorrow.

Then again, why see grudges as a bad thing? To me, I think they are a form of self-defense mechanism that we were born with. They let us remember how someone or some group of people has once hurt us, and helps us learn the lesson and not get hurt by the exact same people, once again.

源源相报何时了。

But who would willingly risk their own well-being just to be good and gracious? The hurt isn't worth it. We would rather gain another enemy, lose another friend, than keep one that we know deep down we cannot trust.