Today, its my birthday again. As a practice, I would return here every year on this day if I can help it. For it means a lot to know, somewhere, someplace, I have a sanctuary whenever I need it =).

Perhaps what I should do is to evaluate myself, what I have gone through the past year, what I've learnt, what I've lost?

To begin with, probably is the most obvious loss of freedom through the service of our nation. probably contrary to many's opinion of me, I don't hate serving the country that much. Yes it has its really bad moments, but honestly I feel proud being in green.

Its hard to uphold what I hold in high esteem as compared to what I see in reality.

The real world has so much grey that the black-and-white world with shallow shades of grey I had in mind no longer applies. Perhaps this is the greatest life lesson I've learnt this past year.

Its no longer possible to uphold everything you believe without compromising.

The year spent I've lost many, yet at the same time gained many friends. Unfortunately the lost are more of the female species whilst the gains are largely, if not all males. But even the closest of brothers have innate restrictions.

The past year have also lacked regular/structured studying. I often wonder how I am going to get back to the studying intensity that my peers are going through now. Will I wither and fall away slowly, till it'll never be back?

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

If I were to make a "new year resolution", it would probably have to be survive my next year without making much enemies!

For the me today will never accept the world today.