Monday, November 19, 2012

Its that time of the year again. Back when I was young, the me I imagined was nothing like the me I am currently. Was it because I was naive when I was young or have I really just failed terribly in life beats me. What I do know however, is that regardless or being 5,10 or 15. I shouldn't be in this position when I'm twenty. Young ambitions given up upon the slightest unsolvable problems. Now which direction in life am I looking at, I have no idea. It is as though whatever the teachers said about getting to what you want to become meant nothing. I take a close look at the me now, its agonizing. While others have either excelled in one thing or the other, I find that I am just average. For everything. Others have found that one thing they are good at by this age. And have ambitions and work hard towards it. But I am just left behind thinking there is nothing good that I can do that is worth investing my future in. I thought I was smart. Apparently not. The other thing I discovered in this cruel life, is that working hard is a talent. People have said that if you can't do something well, put in effort, work hard for it and you too, can excel in it. We all believed it. What we failed to realize is that not everyone can work hard. It might not seem so hard to get down to run ten kilometers everyday when you completed your first ten. But its always maintaining that's hard. Its easy to suddenly study for ten hours at a go. But how often, how many times can one do it? A hardworking person? Maybe 5 times a week, an average person? Probably 2-3 times a week. Pitiful me? Probably none. This is not a world I'm suited to live in. Sometimes I feel that I should experience the stress-free environments in places no one knows me. Where I have to do work, purely, purely because I have live. Where If I don't work I can't get meals. Maybe then I will work hard?

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