I've once read somewhere that the will is a muscle. If you strain it too much, it'll break down on you and stop working. If you train it bit by bit, pushing it to near limits every time, then it gets stronger and stronger till you can weave it as you please.

Like a muscle, it has its original intended function, yet with practice can be wielded to many purposes. We don't ever realise how much we're using it, until it collapses and the lack of it surfaces disastrous effects.

At the same time, I've never realised how difficult it is to control thoughts.

Everyday, day to day, we learn how to restrict, to control, our actions, our speech, how we talk, how we act, but the underlying thoughts behind them are granted free rein. It is as if we can think of whatever we want to, and not suffer from it, as long as it doesn't show on the surface, on our words, our moves.

Now that I attempt to tame what has been let free for too long, I find the task improbable, and failing many times a day. The only way to control one's thoughts is through enforcing the will on the mind. And yet my will is but a weak and faltering muscle disused way too often in thought-control.

What happens is simply disastrous.

Sometimes the will breaks down and thoughts run a free, breaking the tight reins the will imposed and pulls along emotions that was kept away. Other times repetitive thoughts overpower everything else and impulse, instinct, takes over and threatens speech and action.

How then would I be able to control a beast fed too fat from years of indulgence?