Reflections

I think been thinking alot of things over the past weekend and i really can't seem to figure out anything at all... Only making myself more and more stupider why wasting brain cells on these crappy things...

For example, the word 'cheapskate' made me think and think and think and think and think. I put 5 'think' because i really meant it. I thought over about it, then later stop thinking about it, then later re-thought about it. Haiz, normally this crap word won't even bother me much. But now, i just simply cannot believe it. I cannot believe such a crappy word came out of her keyboard lah. I don't know why, i just feel so puzzled. It's like... All my calcuations went wrong. I never thought that this stupid word could ever be used by her.

And he recently told me some things that also made me think hard. 1 of those was the incident on honours night. It's just a simple action that made me think hard, i don't know why. Maybe it's because it involves her? I suppose...

Well, i remember telling him that i changed number. But i think i carelessly forgot to gave my new number... So when he tried to find me before the honours night event... He obviously couldn't since he was dialing the wrong number. So when he remembered that i've changed number... He thought of who to ask and he asked her... To me, that proves something. It proves to me that she still meant alot to him. She will always come first to mind... He still loved her. I knew that all along. I knew that he was just lying to everyone around him and heck i believe he is also lying to himself. That was the prove i needed, and it really came.

Another crappy incident that he told me was a smal and simple one. But 1 that had huge impacts... Not on 1 person, but on another few. Our dear campus superstar told him a bloody comment. A crappy 1 that even i got pissed off upon hearing it. He asked him why he liked a girl like her?(Wei She Me Ni Xi Huan Zhe Yang De Nu Ren?) And it's in a very very stupid tone that i don't like. It's like looking down on her can? Felt so pissed off la. Who is he to comment on her? Just because he is a campus superstar candidate doesn't give him the right to make such a bloody comment. Its insulting, to he,her and me. I really find it hard to take it lying down la. I don't want to be childish and point fingers back at him and insult his's but seriously la. Its not out of respect that's why i decided not to pursue matters, its not because im scared that i may leave a childish impression by pursuing such a 'small' matter. Its because i know that pursuing matter will not only blow up matters but also hurt a good friend of mine. I do not wish to see more people hurt. But i really really cannot stand it. Guess i just have to live with it.

I may be an idiot, but im definitely not stupid.