hehe! Finally got hold of the era. Muhahaha ^^

So gonna cry if my itouch breaks down anytime soon. Though I know its gonna be soon )_(

Its weird isn't it? When u know things are gonna happen, u know u can't run away from it. But when it happens u get sad all over again.

Haha. I think I told my mum like half a year ago that my computer is gonna spoil anytime soon. And when it finally broke down months later... She blamed me for playing on it too much and spoiling it -.-

Well, I'm glad though, that it lasted more longer than expected! But it now sucks that I no longer have a personal computer. Of course, I could use my sister's, but it feels nothing like my own plus its a MacBook that is so hard to use. Dahhhhh

Lookng forward to my own computer!

Haha right now though, I need people to go window shop with me! Like go check the computer models, functions and capabilities! But its just window shopping hehe. No actual transaction will be going on! But I think its still important to do some homework to buy an affordable and good computer!

Speaking of homework... Integration ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Can't solve them man. Haiz. I need HELPPPPP

---___---!

The thing about playing basketball with older people is the fact that they are much more mature players! Yeah never finish learning about the game.

Haha so met up with friends I haven't seen for a looooonnnngggg time. Haha. I feel so young when they're all talking about army stuff. Dahhhhh I'm gonna be enlisted soon )_(. About 9 months? Haha.

So they were telling me to get a girlfriend now or I won't get the chance to do so in army o.0 Anyone interested =P? Haha.

Supposed to type this out last night. But totally lazy and tired.

So today I met this girl. This young little girl. Before anyone starts thinking too much, I'm going to say that I've never met this girl before and she's probably only 11 or 12.

But her actions were insipiring for someone her age. Makes me think. Twice, thrice, about myself.

And so, I met this girl on the MRT train today. She was sitting beside me. Held a green file. A very very neat file. "cells", "electricity", "sexual reproduction". Apparently its a science file for p5 or 6 syllabus. It was neatly arranged. Partitions, folders, content page, everything a good student's file would have.

So she was doing her homework furiously. With such intensity. Haha. With each page done she would flip the page over with some much excitement, satisfaction. And when she's all done within a couple of minutes, she files everything nicely back, keeps her stationary into a cute little pencilbox. And...

Starts to admire membership cards. Amazing. And they were membership cards of... Tuition centres. Right.

Totally flabbergasted. Probably gonna be in the news soon for some best student award or something.

Well personally, I've never done my homework on the train. Or the bus or cars for that matter. To me travelling alone is boring. And homework is even more boring. So I'll probably never have a learning attitude as good as hers.

And there's the neat file. She's probably taking her PSLE at the end of the year or next year and yet she's so well prepared. I'm taking my A'levels at the end of this year and I'm nowhere near the preparedness she has shown me. My file would probably never be as neat as hers and homework remains boring. So how insipiring is this young lady in showing me the truth. The true wake-up call that no one else was able to show me.

I'm guilty.

Ruldoph the red nose reindeer, yc the red nose homo sapien )_(

How can someone have something so valuable, so coveted, so precious, and still say "f*** my f****** life?"

We gotta learn and appreciate things dear. Be content. For you have more than you deserve yet you don't know it.

Either I'm damn ignorant or I'm a normal Singaporean teen, but there's this city in France called 'nice'

Nice is a city. Right. Who wants to live in a nice city?

Computer died. Major impact on life. Boring days coming ahead.

Sometimes, especially these few days when the morning showers are really heartwarming, I think more and more about things around me.

Sometimes, I just wanna take a look at myself from someone else's perspective. I'm just wondering if I would still be the non-stop singing mean bastard in everyone's eyes or maybe someone would still see the kind side of me. Which obviously does not appear often.

This morning, it was just mystical, surreal. Unbelivable things were happening. Twist after twist in the story, every twist just as heart-wrenching. Happiness, sadness are just emotions that drive the roller coaster up and down. Maybe if we take a look at our own lifes from outside the book, we may find that they're nothing but events that inject some life into our ultimate boring ones.

Maybe, it is after all, all but an illusion.

They say if you wish hard enough, it might just come true. First time experiencing it myself. That lovely feeling when you feel fate's on your side

Just finished doing my incomplete maths homework! Yes it is still incomplete, butbutbut I'm REALLY proud of myself!

Yay doing homework till 12.30am just tells me that maybe I can succeed as a student after all. Maybe I can study after all. Maybe those lazy genes won't take over everytime after all. Maybe, hope exist after all.

Ah, the chemistry test that I have tomorrow which I think I'm ready for. The interhse tomorrow that I'm always prepared for. Ah.. I feel so prepared! As a student, that is completely necessary! And I think I've got it! Woots.

Maybe I REALLY AM starting to become a good student after all ^^

Totally proud =)

See, you stupid. What a lousy excuse/way to get your desired outcome. You're discouraging no one, stupid.

I have a chemistry test tomorrow! And as always, when revising for tests, I find that my notes are extremely interesting since I always get to read information that I never once knew. Haha.

So trying to reiterate them the following day seems to be pretty impossible. Haha. Oh well, we'll see how things go. Haha =P.

Furthermore, my dear tutor has already said that I won't fail if I study, not like the organic chemistry test which honestly made me doubt my abilities for days. Like omg? How could I study and still fail? Am I REALLY becoming stupidier?

Well, just to catch any potential readers off guard, the word 'stupider' does not exist. Haha =P.

More stupid.

Inter-house games is tomorrow! I know someone is aiming for the very top! Someone on my team that is, is eyeing the gold badges. And I'm part of the campaign. So we shall see. Honestly I believe there's a huge possiblity things may turn out quite unexpected. Haha.

But just like the case with NJC, perhaps I would live to feel guilty onwards later on when I discover I'm the only one in the team lacking in faith. Well we'll see won't we?

我说自尊啊 看起来或许可笑,但它至少 撑着我 试着不让我跌倒

That is why no matter how much we're suffering, we suffer in silence. We don't fall, we just hurt. We smile, because its necessary. But what we're actually doing, is just looking.

Haha. Not really...

Isn't it just stupid for someone to forget their blog's passwords? I can hardly forget it even after not blogging for almost 2 whole years. It just proves how important somethings are to one.

Sometimes, even the smallest things we won't forget. For example, I'm sure all of us still remember a certain pet phrase of one of our teachers in the past. Not all of the teachers of course, but one with either a really cute and impactful pet phrase, or one that truly impacted your life.

Alternatively, it can just be one that has taught you for like a straight 4 years or something. Haha. Which happened to me in primary school! So my primary school teacher probably is one of the most memorable teachers I have. Haha. And she added me on facebook!

Weekends are long even if its only 48 hours and I'm sleeping half of it away. But but but!!! There's so much work and revision to be done that I don't want to do! And that's the greatest problem ever since I was a student. Since my brain is only ruling in name and that the true power lies with my heart...

So when my heart says dahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa go and sleep/play while my brain is sending emergency signals to my body parts, they all get ignored )_(

I shall see if this weekend would be the same! Haha.

Maybe someday... You'll tell me why you chose left over right.

Maybe, living on as a hypocrite ain't that bad. So I'm just wondering why I was so stubborn. Why I like to distinctively separate those that I like and those that I not. Why bother choosing between love and hate so much?

Just live as a hypocrite and everything will be fine. Just put on an empty smile to everyone and they'll think you're fine.

From a distance, is where scenery, looks the best.

Sadness, is creeping back in. From the void of emptiness. I let out a silent scream, wishing somebody would hear me, though what I really want is for someone to find me.

有一些话打好了却不敢传,怕收到讯息的你在为难

Sometimes, I'm too nice because I think of the other person too much. Too much considerations that I held myself back, only to regret it later on. Or regret it immediately by ignoring those considerations.

Other times, I'm just pure mean because I don't think of the other person at all. No consideration of how the person(s) will feel. To some, I just let myself loose, I don't be careful around them, ignoring their feelings.

Really, its like I'm a two-faced man. Some bipolar disorder or something. But more likely its because of the closeness of the person to me.

I wonder why, but some people, even though we clearly are friends, I couldn't care much about them. Shoot them down relentlessly without offence. And others, whom of which don't even exchanges words with me, I am consciously helping them to the best of my ability without them knowing. I shun because I like to avoid awkwardness since we probably are only friends in name.

So I don't know how exactly people in my life are classified. Some will unmistakingly enjoy privelges not open to others without even knowing why, some might attempt to get close to me without a single improvement in months.

Hmmz. All I can say is, too bad. Haha =)

=)













Really, that's just how I seem to be looking nowadays. A blank smile. Nothing in front, nothing behind. No cause, no context, no consequence. Its just there.

Its like smiling without being happy. Though that doesn't mean that I'm sad. Its just empty. Like how I feel my life now is. I need something, someone to excite me. Fill me up.

I wanna live in those Taiwan Idol Dramas where the characters are never bored, their life is always filled with events, good and bad. A fairytale where everything seems to end perfectly nice.

Not like the seemingly endless empty life. As if you're looking out to an ocean on a beach(not on singapore beaches though). Its just the sea, the never-ending sea. I kinda experienced it once, even though I was looking out from a singapore beach. But the mass volume of sheer void just absorbs me. Its like sucking me in. Maybe that's just the charm of the sea, cause I really felt like jumping straight into it, until my conscious took over and stopped me.

I may appear, act very arrogantly, but I dare say everyday before I reach school, I lower my head. Haha.

Thanks to that branch off the tree that appears to be falling off but never really quite getting there. So everyday when I walk to the bus stop, I'll lower my head as I pass by the tree.

So if there's anything good/bad the slight rain did today, it was to cause the branch to fall even lower.

Therefore...

On monday, I'll be bowing! Haha. Stay humble, this simple act will remind me =). I'm just a mortal =).