Self Discovery

I've never realised this... I actually eat when i am sad or jus bored
jus yesterday night, i actually was so damn bored that i went into my parent's room and jus on the radio which havent touched for like 1 or 2 years? i jus on the old dusty radio with that 2 big speakers. and i was there for straight 2 hours... i cant believe it and all the while i dunno opened how many packs of dunno wad... 2 hours... in front of a radio, not tv, not the com, the radio, THE RADIO! omg? am i really that desperate? don't i have friends?
When was the last time i played dota with zhi kai, greg and ming chuen?
was it 5 months ago?
when was the last time i played maple? was it when the school holidays ended?
When was the last time i chatted with Her? was it 21 days ago?
i dun seem to be able to afford more than 3 sentences with Her
i didn't even hit 2 for the past 2 weeks... its not her fault
the problem lies with me... i have a weird personality which others will call losers.
i am satisfied when i look at Her from 5metres or more away
im not possesive... but people would say that that's loser behaviour
but i dun care, i seriously dun, my socks wouldn't be that high if i cared
again, people will call me a loser... i dun care, i am now living a life for myself and Her
sometimes having a solved big problems will only cause the brain to have spaces
for more problems, although they are not big, or heck, not real,
my brain processes them, and im troubled again
i fear... i fear that im a victim of depression already
Zhi Ying Wo Wei Ai Er Shen, I Will Carry On!

Troubled days are over, are they?

finally, by today i got out the 2 things that has troubling me for months. even before this year even started... i was alr troubled by them,and now, i have solved 1 and almost solved the other.
i am so glad... hope this puts an end to my troubles...
Guess wad song this is:
No one can take me away from u
i am your angel
only you can have me
nobody can replace you in my heart
you are my only angel
wad wishes do i still want more?

i finally said it out. because of 1 event and 3 people

i said it out, i told her, through a simple sms, im goin to expect a reply tomorrow morning... i nid to think wad's goin happen, just hope that it wont b too drastic...
why did i say it out? because of this event that happened today...
after choir, julia loh was irritating me, seriously irritating, i felt irritated
she nagged and nagged about Her, and i was there, wadevering
and den when i finally reached my tolerance level, i retorted
she scolded me kpkb and started using her biology tb to hit me
again, i tolerated and told her calmly to stop, she wouldn't
now i was angry, who wouldn't if u're hit by a book weighing 1kg?
and it wasn't 1 or 2 times, it was so many that i lost count
in my anger, i grabbed her bio tb and threw it out to the parade ground
weaponless, she used her hands instead to hit me, ignoring her
i went to the parade ground to await further instructions from my sl
she gave me a " ni gen wo xiao xin yi dian" and left
now this incident to me is serious... and 3 persons are responsible
1: Lee Yan Cheng ( for writing out about Her in the 1st place)
2: Dew Yang ( for telling julia loh)
3: Julia Loh ( for hittng me of cos)

if '1' hadn't happen, '2' and '3' wouldn't happen
if '2' hadn't happen, '3' wouldn't happen
if''3' hadn't happen, i wouldn't have told Her...

Sad Sadded Sadness...

Have u ever tried to help ur elders who dunno hw to use the com?have u tried and unfortunately something unfortunate happen?i just tried helping my mum to fill her government IRAS thingy. and unfortunately i typed this in the address bar, " www.IRAS.gov.sg" but my com somehow lagged and den i dunno wad i typed but i went to the website www.888.com and it was a gambling website which says everywhere on the website, "download free casino games" it actually was quite a website i would want to go to as i quited maple and had no games to play... but suddenly something popped up and said, " download free casino game" i immediately knew i was in trouble... it was a spyware + adware website... helped my mum fill in her IRAS and throughout the process pop-ups keep appearing and they were for horny people... these ads are not for people under 18, hope u get wad i mean... luckily my mum dun really understand or not i am dead now... and now i jus hope that my anti virus can get rid of the or not i wouln't wan to imagine wad would happen when my brother uses the com and sees the pop-ups... i have alr a bad record of getting spyware easily and my brother duno how to reformat the com so he have to call frens and then the frens would complain why his com get spoiled so easily... and he will be very unhappy and come back to scold me...

Her and Her again

im going to greg hse soon... its his BIRTHDAY!
so b4 i go i decided to write a short post... (i hope)
i must say after yesterday, i feel even more paranoid
im getting even more suspicious, i hope its not true
but im jus worried, from wad i c it is...
i must say, Her look really good when she's on heels
she seriously beautiful, even with only a choir tee
and when she buns her hair, she dun look bad
seriously, i am very impartial when im saying this
sadly, like always, i feel that she is trying to avoid me
maybe im jus paranoid, maybe im jus suspicious
but if i nv think long enough i will never write it out
in normal terms u would say she 'dao' me
haiz... i know she knows, i havent tell Her
but some idiot must have told Her alr
expected la, but the response was unexpected
i havent told her face to face and i dunno how to do it
but in this kinda circumstances i dunno whether i can
im trying, seriously, but everytime in front of Her
im speechless, my mind will be in a blank
mayb i seriously should change my approach...
maybe i should jus look from 3metres away, leave Her alone
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.........................................................
i will say 1 last thing
I WILL CARRY ON!

The sadded guy

I am a person living in 2 worlds
for those who watch 'bleach', i am like Kurosaki Ichigo
1 who carries the responsibility of 2 worlds
like Ichigo who carries the responsibility of a shinigami
and a human, i carries the responsibility of maintaining distance
between this 2 world. if this 2 world so unfortunately meet,
it would be like anti-matter and matter meeting...
for those who are good in science, u will know that it means
a huge 'explosion' that will destroy ALL matter in the radius
alike to a atomic bomb, except that anti-matter destroys
everything, including air and earth...
these 2 worlds, briefly speaking, are my family world
and my school world or shall i say social world
that is also the sole reason why the punishment i fear the most
is actually teachers calling my parents...
this is the process which can link up the 2 worlds
wad i do at home, i nv do it school at all
and wad i do it school, i nv managed to do at home
i would seriously double up the punishment in school
den to let my parents know wad punishment im taking up
If u are also leading a wretched life like me,
i believe u would understand, but if u dun
u NEVER will... its the sad story of a sad guy
im sure you people have seen the advertisement
of the singapore navy which says
' if your life is a movie... would it be a good 1?'
i dare say that my life is a movie, it would be 1 of the best
it would make so many people cry,
it would make singapore famous for its movies
i also realised that 1 of the punishments for skipping class
is that the parents of the student would be informed
if only you could imagine the horror i faced at that moment
when ms choi said that, but of cos,
my expression didn't give me away... i so used to acting alr
and today this wretched life of mine tortured me again
i confess, i dun wan to let the teachers call my parents
i even plucked out the phone line.
but today i forgot to do it, and guess wad? ms choi didn't call
mrs janice lim called... fortunately, or mayb unfortunately
i wasn't at home and unfortunately, my dad wasn't at home
my mum wasn't at home, my sis dun pick up phones calles
basically because she told every1 who wanted to contact her
to call her phone instead of the house phone...
so that leaves only 1 person... haha guessed it?
my brother picked up the phone................
well i guess i dun nid to write anymore, u could imagine
wad horror i faced when i returned to the house
so i said on top that i wont mind haivng double the punishment
because, basically, my family would gave me the same punishment
perhaps, even more... so by maths equation... u could c this
let school punishment be x
let family punishment be y
x=y, x+y=2y, x+y=2x
so i might as well have 2x since it equals to x+y
see the logic? Haiz, sadded

Skipping Lesson

If u still remember... i've said that i skipped lessons from the last post
and i've also said in the last post that the next day i go back to school
Siao liao de, well, i must say i have the foresight... to know that im dead
the next day i went back to school, which is yesterday.
mrs janice lim called us up during assembly... she caught us...
told us that we're in big trouble which is true... skipping lesson is crazy
punishment for boys is caning... for girls is suspension...
wah damn scary, i was kinda glad though, cos she gave us a chance
told us to write a report about wad happened...
i wrote it seriously and gave it to her through Sze Hoe
but she was unhappy because the letter was wrote in such a way that
i seem to be blaming the teachers instead of acknowledging that i was
wrong... i dunno leh, i read myself but dun seem to be blaming teacher
but then maybe i too careless le, offend people also dunno
well u can help me decided... i wrote this
"i did not recieve any further instructions but was told to return to classes immediately by my classmates"
i think mrs janice lim feels that im blaming my teachers for not giving me
further instructions... well she was at least kind enough to let me re-write
so during this morning's 1st 2 periods... ms tang finally didn't come
and i made use of the time and managed to complete the report...
recess time let Mrs lim see... den she told me to re-write again...
i did not explain why i changed the story... basically, i did not really change
i jus wrote "i was told to return to class immediately by my classmates"
basically, i jus did not write the "i did not recieve any further instructions"
so i had to re-write it again... fortunately for me again...
mr tan bak seng( did i spell it wrongly?) didn't come too
so i had another 2 periods to finish up the 3rd report...
finished it up during the 2 periods and this time, she accepted it
i was sooo damn happy... at least no nid to re-write again
actually i got alot of thing wan to write de but because of this incident
it spoiled my mood and i dun feel like writing anything now... subimasse