Somehow, i'm just glad that i never ever delete this page. I always find some way to use it once in a while. Haha.

Am wondering why I'm typing all these when I'm supposed to be doing CF revision anyway. But i guess graph drawing has been my achilles heel from the first day i ever met it in mathematics.

It's just been sad. Feeling lost and incompetent and despite wanting to say it all out, couldn't find an appropiate ear. Perhaps i've really been living under a rock all these years.

Maybe i should be in canberra instead. Its all these commitments that's making me go crazy and display more and more of my bipolar personality.

It's frustrating.

Just realizing that giving up some commitments doesn't ensure you're able to be commited to the others just hits me in the face like a hurricane. I gave up so much just to be in this position and suddenly i don't even wanna be here. I wonder what really pushes me.

Sometimes I just want it all, other times wanting nothing at all. I want to be there, on the top, reaching such great heights and looking down. Or just lead a humble life.

Then just let my imagination run wild since its the only personal thing i have left. Imagine that I'm suddenly a player flirting around, having flings one after another (actually i only wanna have 1 la, but that don't really matter) and deeply respected by everyone else ^^

Snap*


Mihanhae, I'm just pure sad.